The Night Before

So...I go in tomorrow to be induced. Friday was my due date, she is not here, I am progressing, she is getting bigger...and so we are ready to get this show on the road. :)

The night before you know you are going to have a baby is kind of weird. I mean, what do you do, how are you supposed to act, supposed to feel... I feel like I should be doing everything one last time, and yet my mind is in such a weird place that I don't feel like I can do anything.

With Addison I was completely oblivious to everything that was about to happen. I don't have that luxury this time. I know what is going to happen, I'm more aware of the risks and what could go wrong, I know how my life is going to change (at least I somewhat know), and I know that tomorrow could be long and tiresome and most definitely painful. I also know that that pain won't matter for too long, as I get to meet my beautiful baby girl. So tonight, instead of concentrating on all of that, with the exception of getting to meet my baby girl tomorrow, I am thinking of all of the amazing ways God has brought me through this pregnancy. I am thinking about how I know God is faithful and will be faithful for the next twenty-four hours as I labor and deliver. And, I am thinking about how God is bigger than all of my reservations, all of my worries, and all of the adjustments that are going to come to our family of three.

As I mentioned, God has been so faithful throughout this pregnancy to bring me through whatever the doctors have found, whatever the doctors have said, and whatever fears I have had. This song is one that I feel He has played for me not over and over, but only in moments when I needed to hear it.

Safe - Phil Wickham
To the one whose dreams have fallen all apart
And all your left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think you're on your own
But you're not alone
Have you heard of the one who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong it never lets you go
No you're not alone.

You will be safe in His arms, you will be safe in His arms
The hands that hold the world, are holding your heart
This is the promise He made, He will be with you always
When everything is falling apart, you will be safe in His arms.

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you now to rise
So hear him now, He's calling you home. You will never be alone.

You will be safe in His arms, you will be safe in His arms
The hands that hold the world, are holding your heart
This is the promise He made, He will be with you always
When everything is falling apart, you will be safe in His arms.

Cause these are the hands that built the mountains, the hands that calm the sea
These are the arms that hold the lame, and they are holding you and me
These are the hands that heal the leper, pull the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to the cross to break our chains and set us free.

You will be safe in His arms, you will be safe in His arms
The hands that hold the world, are holding your heart
This is the promise He made, He will be with you always
When everything is falling apart, you will be safe in His arms.
You will be safe
You will be safe
When everything is falling apart, you will be safe in His arms.


The first time I heard this song was shortly after all the doctors and nurses seemed to be thinking that this was not a viable pregnancy. My heart was truly feeling "tired and broken," and God was reminding me that I was not alone. That He was holding me, and that I was safe in His arms, regardless of what happened.

The next significant time I heard this song was when the doctors thought Emmeline's little heart would not be able to function properly outside of the womb. Woa! That seemed almost unbearable, and as I was driving away with this information I turned on my car, and the words, "the hands that hold the world, are holding your heart" came over the radio. Wow, what an amazing God. Suddenly, this song was just as much a promise to my little unborn daughter as it was to me. No matter how her heart was when she was born I knew God was holding it.

Then, finally, everything began to smooth out. She was growing strong and healthy, God healed her heart as far as the doctors could see and I heard the song again. This time I heard the promises that God had given me through this song, but more than that I heard the words, "Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life, is the very same voice that calls you now to rise," and I was almost overcome with the thought that, no my little girls do not know this. They do not know God's promises, they do not know of all the things He is capable of. And not just that they don't know this, but that it is my responsibility to teach them this. And more than anything in the world I want them to know this God and serve this God that I know and serve.

So as I go into tomorrow, that is what I am going to be concentrating on, the promises God has given me through His Word, the ways He has been faithful to see me through this pregnancy, and how amazing and awesome the privilege of being a mother is.

And now I am ready...can't wait to meet this precious baby girl that God has entrusted into my arms for a time. Praise the Lord for miracles!! Thank you for your prayers!! I'll update as soon as I get my head back on straight...no telling when that will be. :)